The magnificent thrones are ready for the new champs ... they're dusted, plugged in and gently vibrating. To ease all those tired aching muscles.
July found us a new, dynamic heroic champ! An American secret weapon... and a newcomer .. so fear him ... or her .... for he ... she .. is going to be great!
Challenge Champ ... will the one and only jules44 take a bow and come on up and claim her throne. Will jules ever relinquish ownership of it? I think not. mos623 was our top american player .... and our Daily Dervish with most daily wins was jules44 with 15 victories. She's currently on leave .. and the new war has started and an Amercian has dared to take an early lead! Hope I'm not evoking the infamous Pengy Kiss of Death by saying that. Mogul Maximus ... ah ... it's my spiffy miffy. Miffy42 will you please come on up and park your little bum in your place of honour. You can have a well earned, well deserved hug from me, if you'll pardon the fishy breath. So who was our top USA trooper at wriggling under the 60 second guillotine?Rage.
Now there's a name that evokes fear! Watch out UK I suspect this new enlistee is going to create trouble amongst the trenches. This is not a Pengy premonition, unfailingly accurate and dropdead impressive though they can be ... this is hard fact from HQ stats. And he has cohorts .. other newcomers who could threaten the status quo.
Am I being an alarmist?
I hunch my tuxedo clad shoulders and duck down out of the flak.
Titanasaurus Rex ... Remember, in days to come you might think back and say to yourself ... yes, I can remember when this fearsome American first appeared. Pengy did warn us all.But we don't frighten easy here and we do not grovel ... well, not right away anyway.
Three cheers! Hip hip! ... and all that ... will the magnificent, deadly Rage accept this invitation from your first most fawning fan (that's moi) ... and come on up and claim your throne. I'll throw the gauntlet down now on the UK's behalf ... no way will they allow you to run amok. They'll send out assassins.
Our top UK player for July? It was Doc. Hmm ... sounds ominous. I imagine splints and bandages were in big demand for the UK casualties littering the Titan battlefield.
Still .. there is good news UK. Rage became an Invincible and can not create havoc this month. That must be a relief. I detect some psychological warfare though ... hammerdjh , a cheeky rogue Invincible is scampering in the trenches. Don't worry UK .. I have my harpoon ready. Pengy misses nothing. Worry about this instead!
Marsalinator is back! Yes ... he's a natural leader and will inspire the American daredevils to wondrous, mammoth feats. And then there is Clamking too.
Need I say more?
Yes! ... Stuhern is back too for the UK!
No pressure UK ... brave UK, but I hope you're fully tooled up. What with Marsalinator, Clamking, poolosopher in the fray this month along with such a strong USA army a horrible feeling has just hit the pit of my stomach.
Shall I fold the Union Jack up nice and neat now and stash it away for the month?
Sole Survivor .... Psst ... you ... yes, you. The wonderful new champ sitting basking on the Titan throne ... can you just wriggle your little rump to come and sit on this one aswell? I'm clapping my flippers in honour of Rage ... our new Sole Survivor. Might I also say in my most ingratiating voice ... I'm stunned just how quick you've hammered the opposition, you wonderful human . Piranha however is not to be denied. Resistance is futile. No one escapes Piranha and lives to tell the tale for long.And which UK & Co trooper survived the longest? Well done martin cube! Top UK player!
The USA Invincibles
Fear them for they are great
#1 mos623
#2 Rage .. scrambled up onto the Olympian heights
#3 WorldB
#4 Schoonie101 .. bungy jumped to the eyrie
#5 j2cp2
#6 timmacg
#7 ryaman
#8 mike32768
#9 hammerdjh ... the third new fearsome resident.
#10 Deborah
Mark them 3 names well UK ... stencil them on your foreheads and when you see them on the battlefields, mark them down and take them down.
A bit aggressive?
Disclaimer: Though a garrulous pacificist I'm beholden to exercise the referees perrogative .... cause trouble... make war.
The UK & C0 Invincibles
Fear them aswell ... for they are great too ... they led the UK army to victory last month.
#1 jules44
#2 miffy42
#3 morelli
#4 lg549
#5 paper aeroplane ... glided back up to his old haunt.
#6 briarwoodrose
#7 magijoh1
#8 markswood
#9 dippo
#10 martin cube
Next .. my favourite bit. The bit that makes me shudder and reach with trepidation for my Chinese stress balls.
Our Most Outstanding Player in July.
Brace yourself UK ... this red tide might instil a panic attack.
Top Mop .... wow .. and our Top Mop scampered so far and so fast I jetted his heels with a fire extinguisher!Will Schoonie101 fight through the fogbank and come and claim his/her throne (apologies there Schoonie ... human gender is a mystery to a penguin).
Schoonie101 USA up 41 ... Absolute Top Mop (another new recruit to watch with a beady eye)
My other top fave players ... with grazed knees and aching brains and so worthy of my undying admiration.
Rage USA up 23
shadowzep USA up 20
paper_aeroplane UK up 9
Anton USA up 9
donamaria USA up 6
gracie USA up 5
nikers UK up 3
LanaDale USA up 3
timmacg USA up 2
lg549 UK up 2
j2cp2 USA up 2
flopsy UK up 2
Every trooper who improved their ranking on the previous month ... well done!
Your country needs you and you fought better and faster!
joanne384 USA held rank
jules44 UK held rank
MarchHare007 UK up 1
miffy42 UK up 1
moomin UK held rank
morelli UK up 1
polaris UK up 1
trooper2196 UK up 1
WorldB USA up 1
But that was July's war .. and another one has begun and if my Pengy sensors are operating with their usual darn canny precision I'm anticipating a close fought war. Unless some players can be frightened into deserting the battlefield and going AWOL there will be some serious quizzing ahead!
Oh ... and that reminds me ... I have finally discovered facebook .. yes I know, quick aren't I? If you scroll your mouse down and look to the right you will see my mugshot. Any updates here will miraculously also appear on facebook in future.
Neat hey?
Tssk ... and someones nicked all the flags off the blog again.
That's my afternoon sorted ... whilst you my human friends must shrug into your battle harness and go and fight the war.
Your country needs you! But do stop off for snacks at Qmel's smorgasbord on the Mogul.
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